tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post5925826802798510970..comments2023-03-21T07:24:49.169-04:00Comments on Just Some Stuff About Life As I See It: Suicide Revisitedjsshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02841951364803029201noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-24253922861715333812011-08-25T16:12:36.663-04:002011-08-25T16:12:36.663-04:00Hi LM - as you can see I'm still here although...Hi LM - as you can see I'm still here although thanks for your concern.<br /><br />I am sorry for your difficulties. While I cannot relate to dysthymia I do know what it feels like to have long-term recurrent depression. I was also struck by your comments about having emotionally unavailable parents. I grew up in the same environment, in my case the mother was emotionally unavailable while my father struggled for many years with severe alcoholism. It was a home where you didn't dare express your thoughts or feelings and as a result I had a lot of trouble in the early going (first couple of years I'd say) opening up to my therapist. Little by little though I have been able be more open with her.<br /><br />While of course I cannot comment on your therapist I do wonder if maybe you might find something different with another therapist. Perhaps it could not hurt to consider a change, maybe you would find the experience beneficial. Just a thought. Twenty years is a long time not to be able to open up to your therapist.jsshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02841951364803029201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-75794042208380276412011-08-25T15:57:18.547-04:002011-08-25T15:57:18.547-04:00JSS,
I just discovered your blog while reading Sto...JSS,<br />I just discovered your blog while reading Storied Mind. I am 51 and have had dysthymia + recurrent depression since age 11, and recurrent thoughts (no attempts) of suicide since age 15. My parents do not know this. I have never been close to them. I guess I sensed at a young age that I could not trust them to help me with my feelings. My mother had her first "breakdown" when I was 8 and the second when I was 21. Anxiety and bitterness consume her. My father is emotionally distant and probably has dysthymia. Those of us that never bonded with our parents, that never learned to feel loved, that never learned to trust someone, are at high risk for chronic problems with sadness, among other problems. I have worked with the same patient, nonjudgmental, kind therapist for 20 yrs yet I am still uncomfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with him. I often wonder if I will ever be able to comfortably share my feelings and thoughts with others, to trust others, to feel worthy of being loved....I am just coming out of a recent relapse and went through some scary suicidal thoughts. How can I discuss suicide with a never-depressed person? They don't get it. "WHY would you ever think that way?" "How could you consider that?" <br /><br />I am glad that I found this blog but am worried because I see no posts sine July 16th. I hope that you and your son are OK.<br /><br />LMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-25712134906016880602011-07-25T08:16:38.745-04:002011-07-25T08:16:38.745-04:00Hi Michelle, you see there's the rub. It is a...Hi Michelle, you see there's the rub. It is afterwards that people are left wondering what if. And in the end who knows if there is something that somebody might have said that would have changed everything for that young man.<br />It is my belief that if as a society we weren't so damned afraid to speak of these things (among others), if there wasn't such a stigma around mental illness then there would be far fewer suicides.<br /><br />I fear we are a long ways away from that. Sadly.jsshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02841951364803029201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-85852139797762631822011-07-24T12:47:49.487-04:002011-07-24T12:47:49.487-04:00One of my close friends, high school loves, commit...One of my close friends, high school loves, committed suicide a little over ten years ago. He was beautiful, intelligent, compassionate and passionate. He lived life fully and it was so devestating to see him a prisoner in the clutches of depression. He hung himself. I often wonder if we, his friends and family, could have said or done anything to save him from himself. What if...<br /><br />Hold on. <br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccYFWcqBNS4Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12693795343641111526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-67837398957342397302011-07-17T18:01:24.183-04:002011-07-17T18:01:24.183-04:00Hi WS - you give me too much credit. Believe me w...Hi WS - you give me too much credit. Believe me when I tell you that I have frequently lost my patience and my temper with my son's depression. It is a constant challenge to remain understanding and supportive. A challenge in which I continually fall short. What are you going to do right? Keep trying.<br /><br />By the way I was wrong about that whole God thing. Turns out he did make me the kind of person who could seek help. Some of us are just a little thicker in the head than others.<br /><br />Thanks for coming by. Hope you're hanging in there.jsshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02841951364803029201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-92142945812618373062011-07-17T16:03:13.020-04:002011-07-17T16:03:13.020-04:00You are amazing and brave and your son is blessed ...You are amazing and brave and your son is blessed to have you.<br /><br />I understand your line 'I cursed God for making ;me that kind of person who could 'never' do something like that' more than I can express. <br /><br />WS<br />xWondering Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09784587066558342905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-9287907970449249242011-07-17T15:03:56.774-04:002011-07-17T15:03:56.774-04:00I agree it is a most horrendous state of mind and ...I agree it is a most horrendous state of mind and is profoundly life-changing - it opens up your eyes to so much and you really think differently than most - you stop taking your life for granted - well, at least I have.sheila Anoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-12510538862974930662011-07-17T13:51:58.240-04:002011-07-17T13:51:58.240-04:00Hi Sheila, thanks for coming by and commenting. I...Hi Sheila, thanks for coming by and commenting. I'm not sure I'd agree that the 'how we got there' is the smaller of the questions. I think they carry equal importance. However I would most certainly agree that managing to survive it takes everything you have and then some.<br /><br />Perhaps in an odd sort of way the stigma attached to it can be part of the saving grace for those who manage to survive it. As I recall there were times when I couldn't bear the thought of being a person who would do that. And I'm not going to lie... there were times when I cursed God for making me that kind of person who could "never" do something like that.<br /><br />It is the most horrendous state of mind while at the same time being a profoundly life-changing event.jsshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02841951364803029201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325865623924936197.post-51661410005079262272011-07-17T11:00:11.827-04:002011-07-17T11:00:11.827-04:00It is true that feeling depressed and suicidal is ...It is true that feeling depressed and suicidal is one of the loneliest, most frightening places a person could ever be in their lives. The how we get there is the smaller of the questions - the bigger question, the more important question is how do we manage to survive it? Living in those moments with a brain that seems to be bent on taking us off of this planet is truly terrifying. Trying with every fiber of your being to convince yourself that the thoughts in your brain are wrong is as great a feat as winning an Olympic Gold medal. I too had a child to live for - truly, thank God for that. If everyone who is suicidal can hold on long enough, live long enough for the sake of someone else then their chances of getting through the finish line in once piece is a little bit better.Sheila Anoreply@blogger.com