I am in a place right now, a little frustration, a little confusion. I sense a movement towards a place of greater understanding or rather a place of being able to formulate a bit more competently some kind of cohesive theory of human existence and our relation to God. Or at least I hope so because this inability to gather my half-thoughts into some kind of cohesiveness is pretty darn frustrating.
I have times, right now for example where I feel on the verge of a break-through… but of what? New knowledge? New understanding? I cannot even find a word for what ‘it’ is so I use the word ‘it’. A word about as nondescript as one can get but I have nothing better. I am forced to use the word ‘it’ a lot because I don’t know another word to use to describe something that is circulating in my mind but is not yet even close to being in full view and so I cannot make out what ‘it’ is. ‘It’ is just a blob right now, not even a blob, no form, no color, no properties of which to be spoken. Very frustrating.
Take for example the whole religion thing. I will speak specifically of the Christian theology or let me be slightly more general and use the Bible as my example. Here’s the thing; I know these writings point to the ‘truth’, I’ll call it ‘reality’. I like that word better. The biblical writings point to something that really is, I just cannot come up with an organized and cohesive theory of what that something, or what that story is. Jesus for example; real or myth? Actual person as God in the flesh, living model, living archetype of what really is, sent so we could actually see and speak to the actual THING of which we all have built-in knowledge, living proof of our pre-existing knowledge or was Jesus simply a man turned into a myth that represents the reality of the knowledge implanted by God. Our projection of innate knowledge.
How’s that for convoluted?
Interesting that Carl Jung indicated that one of the errors of human beings is in our habit of looking to ourselves in an effort to get some kind of picture of God when in fact I think that the very place we should be starting in our efforts to gain an understanding of God is ourselves. Of course I suspect that he was referring to behavior and I am referring to construct.
The best I can do right now is to merely define that at which I am grasping; a cohesive theory of the basic structure of human life and it’s relation to God.
That’s all I’ve got.