Sunday, January 31, 2010

That Crazy, Crazy God Guy Again

Oftentimes I have heard it said by people supposedly ‘in the know’ that God is just sitting there waiting for us to call to him. You know who I’m talking about, the God people. The people who tell us that we need Jesus as our Lord and Savior or we need to have a ‘personal relationship’ with Jesus Christ (whatever that means) or that we need to ‘believe on’ (again, whatever that means) the Lord Jesus and we will be saved. Of course this all implies that the majority of us, the unwashed masses, the heathens, the primitives buried in the woods who have never heard of Jesus are ‘unsaved’ and therefore destined for an eternity of suffering by the fires of hell. If I cannot convince my brain to believe, really, really BELIEVE like I believe that one plus one equals two, if I cannot do that than off to hell I go for the entire, unending span of eternity. How on earth is it possible that there are actually people who believe this? Please, Pat Robertson tell me the answer to this question.

I digress. I do that all the time. That damn soapbox just keeps sneaking up on me and forcing me to get up on it.

Let us get back to the original thought of this post, this ‘calling out to God’ thing.

So let me get this straight because it's important and I need to make sure that I have all the facts. I don't want to to anything wrong and I want to make sure that I do everything just right, you know I'm a stickler for details and I like my stuff to be right. So... am I to believe that while I am in the throes of my suffering whatever it may be, depression, drug addiction, self-hatred, sick child, sick parent, sick self, again, whatever. While I struggle with those desperate times, when I’m lying on my floor prostate because I have no more energy, when all I can do is cry, when I am eyeing that bottle of pills or loading up the old .45 just a gittin ready to give my walls a new, bright red paint job do you mean to tell me that God is standing there five feet away with his arms folded across his chest not budging to help me until I call to him? Do you mean to tell me that he won’t lift a finger to help me unless I say the magic words or give the secret high-sign? Is that what you’re saying cause I just need to know the facts. Like I said, I want to get it right when next it happens to me.

Well, I suppose that’s pretty much all I should expect from a guy whose will it is that schoolyards are shot up by crazed gunmen.


  1. I happen to like listening to you on your soapbox.

    I'm with you on the whole "saved" thing. I don't think it's that simple. Believe Jesus died for your sins and be saved. Don't believe and rot in hell. This is a little too easy-cheesy, black-and-white for me. I don't know exactly WHAT I do believe about that whole issue.

    As for God not helping until you reach out... well that goes back to free-will I think.

    And I've already mentioned what I think about the whole "God's will" thing on another post of yours, so I won't get into that again.

    You make my head spin. I like it!

  2. Hi LM - I make your head spin only because my head is spinning. Every now and then it crashes into one of these soapbox topics which stops it dead in it's tracks. It gets up, brushes itself off, spews some harsh words and then starts spinning again.

    Trust me, I make myself a hell of a lot dizzier than I make anyone else.

    When I see or hear one of these 'born-again' individuals tell somebody else (who is presumably NOT born-again) that they're not doing something right or they're not doing something they're supposed to be doing I want to rip my hair out. Actually I want to rip their hair out. It makes me so angry and sometimes I just cannot help myself.

    I know this opinion would not be popular and could very well be offensive to some but I just cannot help myself.